it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
