I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
