butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
