I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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