I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
