Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
