he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
