i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
