cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
