When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
