yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
