this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
