Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
