Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Too much gin, very little bucket
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
