I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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