whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
