My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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