You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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