Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
