So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
