so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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