You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
