i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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