this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
