I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
