she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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