So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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