Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
