Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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