Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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