I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
