What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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