Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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