Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
