Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize