Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
