Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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