2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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