The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
