We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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