I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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