for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
