yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Found your dick twin last night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
