Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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