just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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