oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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