it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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