i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
