I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
