booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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