I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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