great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
