Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love you. Go after that dick
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