Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
