He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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