I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
