dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Green mimosas i think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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