did you get engaged???
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian