her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal