It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW