I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed