This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
