i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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