I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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