finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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