Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
