I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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