I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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