I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
