We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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