carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
