girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
