clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
