I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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