It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
